Dealing With Feelings....

Today, at some point in the day, I found myself feeling rather melancholy. Somewhat depressed.

In The Olden Days, I would have reasoned with myself. I would have prayed hard, for the depression to go away. I would have grabbed my Blessing Book and forced myself to think of the many blessings I have, this very day. I would have strategically pulled out bible verses to combat my depression.

In The Newer Days, I dont do that. It didnt seem to help anyway, other than sharing my grief with God. Today, I try to remain open. I think a bit about why I might feel depressed, but if I come up with nada, I move on with my day. I dont feel guilty about feeling yucky. I dont chatise myself. The only thing I really do, proactively, sometimes, is rehearse in my head the things I am grateful I have. The feelings usually remain and need to run their course, so I no longer deny them that space inside me. I do *try* to not act out on them though, especially with anger. Depression.....ah, I dont care much if my kids see me depressed. Its life. A day here or there wont kill them, or drive them away from God. Mostly, I just sit still with the feeling. I dont encourage it, but neither do I detest it, or fight it.

Fighting it, anymore, seems to simply be to ACCEPT it. That *IS* the fight. Just letting it be. At least for me, today, as I know it.